FAUX Football's Championship Trophy: The Commissioner's Cup
The Commissioner's Cup:
FAUX Football's
Championship Trophy
 

This is FAUX Football's "Hall of Fame." This page honors the history of the Fantasy Association of Undrafted X-Athletes football league. It records the championships, noteworthy performances, and other accomplishments of the league's members, while providing historical perspective of our venerable league as a whole, including spin-off and cousin leagues.

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FAUX Champions
Combined regular season and postseason records shown in parenthesis

20th FAUX Football Season
Champion to be determined
2008 FAUX Football Champion
To be determined
Yuba City WannaBees (12-5)
Kevin Murphy
Donegal Doom (13-3)
Joe McFadden
Las Vegas Hitmen (12-5)
Dan Heenan
Petaluma War Pigs (13-4)
John Crudo
Petaluma War Pigs (11-6)
John Crudo
Petaluma War Pigs (13-4)
John Crudo
Las Vegas Hitmen (11-6)
Dan Heenan
Las Vegas Hitmen (12-4)
Dan Heenan
Petaluma War Pigs (15-1)
John Crudo
Las Vegas Hitmen (12-4)
Dan Heenan
Baltimore Buzzsaws (13-3)
Richard Blanchard
Baltimore Buzzsaws (14-2)
Richard Blanchard
Nantucket Nuts (10-7)
Maureen Richardson
Vicksburg Vipers (13-3)
Maureen Corr
Phoenix Femmes Fatale (11-6)
Deirdre Lewis
Athens Axes (12-5)
Greg Costanzo
Baltimore Buzzsaws (10-5)
Richard Blanchard
Pittsburgh War Pigs (13-2)
John Crudo
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Seasons Past

 

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Game Records

Most Points, Game

  • 115 - Las Vegas Hitmen vs. Manila Folders, 31 (October 1, 2000)
  • 93 - Baltimore Buzzsaws vs. Manila Folders, 43 (October 12, 1997)
  • 88 - Baltimore Buzzsaws vs. Whiskeytown Wharfrats, 31 (September 22, 1996); Petaluma War Pigs vs. Yuba City Wannabees, 49 (November 19, 2000)
  • 84 - Las Vegas Hitmen vs. Tomales Bay Trichinosis, 23 (October 19, 2000)
  • 83 - Phoenix Femmes Fatale vs. Shelter Cove Shigellae, 32 (October 12, 1997); Manila Folders vs. Whiskeytown Wharfrats, 39 (October 12, 2000)

Fewest Points, Game
(Non-forfeits only)

  • 0 - Motor City Combined Express vs. Alcatraz Annihilators, 21 (Week 8 1991); Yuba City Wannabees vs. Donegal Doom, 57* (September 3, 2000)
  • 1 - Shelter Cove Shigellae vs. Baltimore Buzzsaws, 33 (October 16, 1997)
  • 2 - St. Petersburg Sleaze vs. Bedrock Ninerstones, 18 (Week 6, 1993)
  • *Donegal was penalized -6 points in the final score by the league (for non-payment of dues). Official final score: 51-0.

Highest Combined Score

  • 146 - Las Vegas Hitmen 115, Manila Folders 31 (October 1, 2000)
  • 138 - Petaluma War Pigs 72, Pescadero Piojos 66 (November 28, 1996)
  • 137 - Vegas Vikings 71, Whiskeytown Wharfrats 66 (October 1, 1995); Petaluma War Pigs 88, Yuba City Wannabees 49 (November 19, 2000)
  • 136 - Baltimore Buzzsaws 93, Manila Folders 43 (October 12, 1997)

Lowest Combined Score

  • 16 - Sonoma Nurse Care-Givers 13, Modesto Mutants 3 (1990); Cucamonga Crapshoots 9, Whiskeytown Wharfrats 7 (Week 13, 1995)
  • 19 - Chicago Chick Conspiracy 11, Buffalo Chips 8 (1990); Istanbul Invaders 11, Motor City Combined Express 8 (Week 7 1991); Montara Maggots 10, Sioux City Sirens 9 (November 22, 1997)
  • 20 - Bedrock Ninerstones 18, St. Petersburg Sleaze 2 (Week 6, 1993)

Largest Margin of Victory

  • 84 - Las Vegas Hitmen 115, Manila Folders 31 (October 1, 2000)
  • 67 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats 82, Tomales Bay Trichinosis 15 (November 30, 2000)
  • 61 - Las Vegas Hitmen 84, Tomales Bay Trichinosis, 23 (September 24, 2000)
  • 59 - Pittsburgh War Pigs 75, Athens Axes 16 (Week 10, 1991); Vera Cruz Vipers 80, Yuba City Wannabees 21 (September 28, 1997)
  • 57* - Donegal Doom 57, Yuba City Wannabees 0 (September 3, 2000)
  • 56 - Bolinas Bollweevils 75, Phoenix Femmes Fatale 19 (September 24, 1995); Petaluma 66, Tasmania Devils 8 (September 24, 2000)
  • 55 - Baltimore Buzzsaws 74, Petaluma War Pigs 19 (November 23, 1997)
*Donegal was penalized -6 points in the final score by the league (for non-payment of dues). Official final score: 51-0.

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Season Records
Regular season records only; doesn't include post-season

Most Points, Season

  • 810 - 2000 Petaluma War Pigs (11 - 3)
  • 807 - 2000 Las Vegas Hitmen (10 - 4)
  • 734 - 1997 Baltimore Buzzsaws (11 - 3)
  • 719 - 1999 Petaluma War Pigs (13 - 1)
  • 715 - 1998 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (12 - 2)
  • 707 - 1996 Baltimore Buzzsaws (12 - 2)
  • 701 - 1999 Manila Folders (11 - 3)
  • 691 - 1998 Las Vegas Hitmen (12 - 2)
  • 687 - 2000 Donegal Doom (8 - 6)
  • 662 - 1994 Petaluma War Pigs (12 - 2),
  • 659 - 1995 Bolinas Bollweevils (11 - 3), 1995 Petaluma War Pigs (10 - 4), 1998 Baltimore Buzzsaws (7 - 7)

Fewest Points, Season

  • 219 - 1992 Hoboken Hobbits (3 - 11)
  • 244 - 1991 Motor City Combined Express (4 - 9)
  • 293 - 1991 Athens Axes (4 - 9)
  • 295 - 1991 Bay Bummers (6 - 7)
  • 309 - 1992 Benecia Bongwater (2 - 12)
  • 313 - 1999 Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 12)
  • 322 - 1995 Bedrock Ninerstones (4 - 9 - 1)
  • 325 - 1991 Alcatraz Annihilators (4 - 9), 1991 Arlington Argonauts (7 - 6)
  • 334 - 1992 Arlington Argonauts (5 - 9)
  • 348 - 1991 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (6 - 6 - 1), 1993 Cucamonga Craphshoots (7 - 7)
  • 350 - 1991 Hooterville Hemorrhoids (6 - 7)

Most Points Per Game Average, Season

  • 57.86 - 2000 Petaluma War Pigs (11 - 3, 810 points)
  • 57.64 - 2000 Las Vegas Hitmen (10 - 4, 807 points)
  • 52.43 - 1997 Baltimore Buzzsaws (11 - 3, 734 points)
  • 51.36 - 1999 Petaluma War Pigs (13 - 1, 719 points)
  • 51.07 - 1998 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (12 - 2, 715 points)
  • 50.50 - 1997 Baltimore Buzzsaws (12 - 2, 707 points)
  • 50.07 - 1999 Manila Folders (11-3, 701 points)
  • 49.36 - 1998 Las Vegas Hitmen (12 - 2, 691 points)
  • 49.07 - 2000 Donegal Doom (8 - 6, 687)
  • 47.29 - 1994 Petaluma War Pigs (12 - 2, 662 points)
  • 47.07 - 1995 Bolinas Bollweevils (11 - 3, 659 points); 1995 Petaluma War Pigs (10 - 4, 659 points); 1998 Baltimore Buzzsaws (7 - 7, 659 points)

Fewest Points Per Game Average, Season

  • 15.64 - 1992 Hoboken Hobbits (3 - 11, 219 points)
  • 18.77 - 1991 Motor City Combined Express (4 - 9, 244 points)
  • 22.07 - 1992 Benecia Bongwater (2 - 12, 309 points)
  • 22.36 - 1999 Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 12, 313 points)

Best Winning Percentage, Season

  • .929 - 1999 Petaluma War Pigs (13 - 1)
  • .857 - 1994 Petaluma War Pigs (12 - 2); 1996 Baltimore Buzzsaws (12 - 2); 1998 Las Vegas Hitmen (12 - 2); 1998 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (12 - 2)
  • .846 - 1990 Pittsburgh War Pigs (11 - 2);1991 Batesville Buttheads (11 - 2)
  • .808 - 1991 Pittsburgh War Pigs (10 - 2 - 1)

Worst Winning Percentage, Season

  • .143 - 1992 Benecia Bongwater (2 - 12), 1999 - Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 12), 2000 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (2 - 12)
  • .154 - 1990 Modesto Mutants (2 - 11)
  • .179 - 1994 Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 11 - 1)

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Franchise Records

Championships

  • 5 - Petaluma War Pigs (1990, 1999, 2002, 2003, 2004)
  • 4 - Las Vegas Hitmen (1998, 2000, 2001, 2005)
  • 3 - Baltimore Buzzsaws (1991, 1996, 1997)
  • 1 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats (1992), Phoenix Femmes Fatale (1993), Vera Cruz Vipers (1994), Sioux City Sirens (1995)

Division Championships

  • 11 - Petaluma War Pigs (1990, 1993 - 2000, 2002 - 03)
  • 6 - Baltimore Buzzsaws (1991 - 93, 1996 - 97, 2004)
  • 4 - Sioux City Sirens (1993, 1995, 2000, 2001); Tomales Bay Trichinosis (1990 - 91, 1995, 2002), Las Vegas Hitmen (1998, 2000, 2001, 2005)
  • 3 - Donegal Doom (1996, 2004, 2005)
  • 2 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats (1992, 1994), Manila Folders (1992, 1999) , Las Vegas Hitmen (1998, 2000), Vera Cruz Vipers (1994, 2005)
  • 1 - Tasmania Devils (1997), Bedrock Ninerstones (1999)

Playoff Appearances

  • 15 - Petaluma War Pigs (1990 - 2004)
  • 8 - Baltimore Buzzsaws (1990 - 93, 1995 - 98, 2004), Manila Folders (1990 - 92, 1994 - 96, 1999, 2000, 2005), Pacifica Pathogens (1990 - 91, 1993 - 96, 2002, 2005)
  • 7 - Phoenix Femmes Fatale (1990 - 93, 1995 - 98), Donegal Doom (1996, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2002, 2004, 2005)
  • 6 - Las Vegas Hitmen (1994, 1998 - 2000, 2005)
  • 4 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats (1992, 1994-95, 1998), Tasmania Devils (1993 - 1994, 1997, 1999)
    Bedrock Ninerstones (1992, 1997, 1999, 2000), Vera Cruz Vipers (1990, 1991, 1994), Sioux City Sirens (1993, 1995, 2000)
  • 2 - Cucamonga Crapshoots (1991, 1998)

Franchise Wins
Regular Season Record

  • 150 - Petaluma War Pigs, est. 1990 (150 - 55 - 3)
  • 117 - Baltimore Buzzsaws, est. 1990 (117 - 88 - 3)
  • 106 - Donegal Doom, est. 1990 (106 - 101 - 1)
  • 86 - Manila Folders, est. 1990 (86 - 64 - 2)
  • 80 - Phoenix Femmes Fatale, est. 1990 (80 - 69 - 3)
  • 74 -Tomales Bay Trichinosis, est. 1990 (74 - 77 - 1)
  • 70 - Cucamonga Crapshoots, est. 1990 (70 - 81 - 1)
  • 69 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats, est. 1990 (69 - 83 - 0);
  • 64 - Vera Cruz Vipers, est. 1990 (64 - 85 - 3)
  • 62 - Tasmania Devils, est. 1992 (62 - 63 - 1)
  • 57 - Bedrock Ninerstones, est. 1992 (57 - 67 - 2)
  • 56 - Las Vegas Hitmen, est. 1994 (56 - 44 - 0); Sioux City Sirens, est. 1992 (56 - 67 - 3)
  • 36 - Yuba City Wannabees, est. 1995 (36 - 48 - 0)

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Fanchise Wins, Season

13 Wins
  • 1999 Petaluma War Pigs (13 - 1)

12 Wins

  • 1994 Petaluma War Pigs (12 - 2)
  • 1996 Baltimore Buzzsaws (12 - 2)
  • 1998 Las Vegas Hitmen (12 - 2)
  • 1998 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (12 - 2)

11 Wins

  • 1990 Pittsburgh War Pigs (11 - 2)
  • 1991 Batesville Buttheads (11 - 2)1
  • 1994 Vicksburg Vipers (11 - 3)
  • 1995 Bolinas Bollweevils (11 - 3)1
  • 1996 Manila Folders (11 - 3)
  • 1997 Baltimore Buzzsaws (11 - 3)
  • 1999 Manila Folders (11 - 3)
  • 2000 Petaluma War Pigs (11 - 3)
  • 2004 Baltimore Buzzsaws (11-3)

10 Wins

  • 1991 Pittsburgh War Pigs (10 - 2 - 1)
  • 1992 Baltimore Buzzsaws (10 - 3 - 1)
  • 1992 Petaluma War Pigs (10 - 4)
  • 1994 Vegas Vikings (10 - 4)5
  • 1995 Petaluma War Pigs (10 - 4)
  • 1995 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (10 - 4)
  • 1996 Petaluma War Pigs (10 - 4)
  • 1998 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (10 - 4)
  • 1999 Tasmania Devils (10 - 4)
  • 2000 Las Vegas Hitmen (10 - 4)
  • 2000 Sioux City Sirens (10 - 4)
  • 2001 Baltimore Buzzsaws (10-4)
  • 2004 Donegal Doom (10 - 4)

9 Wins

  • 1990 Sonoma Nurse Care-Givers (9 - 4)6
  • 1992 Athens Axes (9 - 5)7
  • 1992 St. Petersburg Sleaze (9 - 5)8
  • 1993 Nantucket Nuts (9 - 4 - 1)4
  • 1994 Tasmania Devils (9 - 5)
  • 1994 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (9 - 5)
  • 1995 Baltimore Buzzsaws (9 - 5)
  • 1995 Yuba City Wannabees (9 - 5)
  • 1996 Pescadero Piojos (9 - 5)1
  • 1996 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (9 - 5)
  • 1997 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (9 - 5)
  • 1997 Tasmania Devils (9 - 5)
  • 1999 Bedrock Ninerstones (9 - 5)
  • 1999 Donegal Doom (9 - 5)
  • 2000 Bedrock Ninerstones (9 - 5)

8 Wins

  • 1990 Bangor Bittermen (8 - 4 - 1)1
  • 1990 Mankato Maulers (8 - 4 - 1)8
  • 1991 Evanston Evil Ones/Baltimore Buzzsaws (8 - 5)
  • 1992 Bedrock Ninerstones (8 - 6)
  • 1992 Philadelphia Phantoms (8 - 6)9
  • 1993 Baltimore Buzzsaws (8 - 4 - 2)
  • 1993 Petaluma War Pigs (8 - 4 - 2)
  • 1993 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (8 - 6)
  • 1995 Vicksburg Vipers (8 - 6)
  • 1996 Pago Pago Plague (8 - 6)10
  • 1997 Bedrock Ninerstones (8 - 6)
  • 1997 Donegal Doom (8 - 6)
  • 1997 Manila Folders (8 - 6)
  • 1997 Petaluma War Pigs (8 - 6)
  • 1998 Cucamonga Crapshoots (8 - 6)
  • 1998 Petaluma War Pigs (8 - 6)
  • 1999 Las Vegas Hitmen (8 - 6)
  • 2000 Donegal Doom (8 - 6)
  • 2000 Manila Folder (8 - 6)
  • 2001 Donegal Doom (8 - 6)
  • 2002 Donegal Doom (8 - 6)

7 Wins

  • 1990 Buffalo Chips (7 - 5 - 1)3
  • 1990 Chicago Chick Conspiracy (7 - 5 - 1)2
  • 1991 Arlington Argonauts (7 - 6)11
  • 1992 Fresno Flatulence (7 - 6 - 1)10
  • 1992 Vicksburg Vipers (7 - 7)
  • 1993 Cucamonga Crapshoots (7 - 7)
  • 1993 Newark Next Year (7 - 7)1
  • 1993 Tasmania Devils (7 - 7 - 1)
  • 1994 Manila Folders (7 - 7)
  • 1995 Nantucket Nuts (7 - 7)4
  • 1995 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (7 - 7)
  • 1997 Las Vegas Hitmen (7 - 7)
  • 1997 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (7 - 7)
  • 1998 Baltimore Buzzsaws (7 - 7)
  • 1998 Manila Folders (7 - 7)
  • 1998 Tasmania Devils (7 - 7)
  • 1999 Yuba City Wannabees (7 - 7)
  • 2000 Baltimore Buzzsaws (7 - 7)
  • 2000 Yuba City WannaBees (7 - 7)
  • 2003 Donegal Doom (7 - 7)
6 Wins
  • 1990 Arlington Argonauts (6 - 7)11
  • 1990 Riverdale Ramblin' Rathmans (6 - 7)10
  • 1991 Honolulu Haoles (6 - 7)3
  • 1991 Hooterville Hemorrhoids (6 - 7)10
  • 1991 Mankato Maulers (6 - 7)8
  • 1991 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (6 - 6 - 1)
  • 1992 Nantucket Nuts (6 - 8)4
  • 1993 Bedrock Ninerstones (6 - 8)
  • 1993 Butte County Butkuses (5 - 9)10
  • 1993 St. Petersburg Sleaze (6 - 8)8
  • 1994 Bedrock Ninerstones (6 - 8)
  • 1994 Butte County Butkuses (6 - 8)10
  • 1994 Nantucket Nuts (6 - 7 - 1)4
  • 1995 Cucamonga Crapshoots (6 - 8)
  • 1996 Cucamonga Crapshoots (6 - 8)
  • 1996 Tasmania Devils (6 - 8)
  • 1996 Yuba City Wannabees (6 - 8)
  • 1997 Montara Maggots (6 - 8)1
  • 1998 Donegal Doom (6 - 8)
  • 1999 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (6 - 8)
  • 1999 Vera Cruz Vipers (6 - 8)
  • 2000 Cucamonga Crapshoots (6 - 8)
  • 2000 Tasmania Devils (6 - 8)

5 Wins

  • 1990 South Dakota Snatch (5 - 8)3
  • 1991 Istanbul Invaders (5 - 8)3
  • 1992 Arlington Argonauts (5 - 9)11
  • 1993 Vicksburg Vipers (5 - 7 - 2)
  • 1993 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (5 - 9)
  • 1994 Baltimore Buzzsaws (5 - 9)
  • 1994 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (5 - 8 - 1)
  • 1994 San Francisco Exhibitionists (5 - 8 - 1)3
  • 1995 Manila Folders (5 - 8 - 1)
  • 1995 Tasmania Devils (5 - 9)
  • 1995 Vegas Vikings (5 - 9)5
  • 1996 Sioux City Sirens (5 - 8 - 1)
  • 1997 Cucamonga Crapshoots (5 - 9)
  • 1997 Sioux City Sirens (5 - 9)
  • 1998 Shelter Cove Shigellae (5 - 9)1
  • 1998 Vera Cruz Vipers (5 - 9)
  • 1999 Gualala Giardia (5 - 9)1
  • 1999 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (5 - 9)
  • 2000 Tomales Bay Trichinosis (5 - 9)1
  • 2000 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (5 - 9)
  • 2003 Baltimore Buzzsaws (5-9)

4 Wins

  • 1990 Riverdale Ramblin' Rathmans (4 - 9)10
  • 1991 Alcatraz Annihilators (4 - 9)12
  • 1991 Athens Axes (4 - 9)7
  • 1991 Motor City Combined Express (4 - 9)3
  • 1994 Tom News (4 - 10)1
  • 1995 Bedrock Ninerstones (4 - 9 - 1)
  • 1995 Butte County Butkuses (4 - 10)10
  • 1996 Bedrock Ninerstones (4 - 9 - 1)
  • 1996 Sydney Wombats (4 - 10)5
  • 1996 Vicksburg Vipers (4 - 10)
  • 1998 Sioux City Sirens (4 - 10)
  • 1998 Yuba City Wannabees (4 - 10)
  • 1999 Sioux City Sirens (4 - 10)
  • 2000 Vera Cruz Vipers (4 - 10)

3 Wins

  • 1990 Pollack Pines Pinkos (3 - 10)7
  • 1990 Yukon Yukes (3 - 10)3
  • 1992 Hoboken Hobbits (3 - 11)13
  • 1996 Whiskeytown Wharfrats (3 - 11)
  • 1997 Vera Cruz Vipers (3 - 11)
  • 1997 Yuba City Wannabees (3 - 11)
  • 1998 Bedrock Ninerstones (3 - 11)
  • 1999 Baltimore Buzzsaws (3 - 11)

2 Wins

  • 1990 Modesto Mutants (2 - 11)3
  • 1992 Benecia Bongwater (2 - 12)1
  • 1994 Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 11 - 1)
  • 1999 Cucamonga Crapshoots (2 - 12)
  • 2000 Phoenix Femmes Fatale (2 - 12)

1 - Franchise now Tomales Bay Trichinosis;
2 - Franchise split into two new franchises: Vera Cruz Vipers and Phoenix Femmes Fatale;
3 - Franchise now defunct;
4 - Franchise now known as Sioux City Sirens;
5 - Franchise now known as Las Vegas Hitmen;
6 - Franchise now known as Baltimore Buzzsaws;
7 - Franchise now known as Whiskeytown Wharfrats;
8- Franchise now known as Manila Folders;
9 - Franchise now known as Phoenix Femmes Fatale;
10 - Franchise now known as Donegal Doom;
11 - Franchise now known as Cucamonga Crapshoots;
12 - Franchise now Vera Cruz Vipers;
13 - Franchise now Tasmania Devils

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Winning Percentage
Grey text indicates defunct franchise

  • .728 - Petaluma War Pigs, est. 1990 (150 - 55 - 3)
  • .565 - Baltimore Buzzsaws, est. 1990 (116 - 89 - 3)
  • .564 - Las Vegas Hitmen, est. 1994 (88 - 68 - 0)
  • .550 - Manila Folders, est. 1990 (113 - 92 - 3)
  • .538 - Buffalo Chips, 1990 (7 - 5 - 1)
  • .518 - Tasmania Devils, est. 1992 (93 - 88 - 1)
  • .512 - Donegal Doom, est. 1990 (106 - 101 - 1)
  • .505 - Phoenix Femmes Fatale, est. 1990 (105 - 100 - 3)
  • .500 - Perth Amboy Predators, est. 2004 (7 - 7 - 0)
  • .488 - Vera Cruz Vipers, est. 1990 (99 - 106 - 3)
  • .464 - Cucamonga Crapshoots, 1999 - 2000 (70 - 81 - 1)
  • .464 - Pacifica Pathogens, est. 1990 (96 - 111 - 1)
  • .462 - Honolulu Haoles, 1991 (6 - 7 - 0)
  • .461 - Yuba City Wannabees, est. 1995 (64 - 75 - 1)
  • .454 - Bedrock Ninerstones, 1992 - 2003 (70 - 82 - 2)
  • .448 - Sioux City Sirens, est. 1992 (80 - 99 - 3)
  • .438 - Stumptown Stompers, est. 2001 (24 - 31 - 1)
  • .418 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats, est. 1990 (87 - 121 - 0)
  • .393 - San Francisco Exhibitionists, 1994 (5 - 8 - 1)
  • .385 - South Dakota Snatch, 1990 (5 - 8 - 0)
  • .385 - Istanbul Invaders, 1991 (5 - 8 - 0)
  • .308 - Motor City Combined Express, 1991 (4 - 9 - 0)
  • .231 - Yukon Yukes, 1990 (3 - 10 - 0)
  • .154 - Modesto Mutants, 1990 (2 - 11 - 0)

Longest Winning Streaks

  • 12 - Petaluma War Pigs (September 26 - December 9, 1999)
  • 11 - Whiskeytown Wharfrats (Week 2 - Week 13, 1998)
  • 9 - Baltimore Buzzsaws (Week 6 - Week 14, 1996)
  • 8 - Batesville Buttheads (Week 1 - Week 8, 1992), Baltimore Buzzsaws (Week 7 - Week 14, 1997)

Longest Losing Streaks

  • 9 - Phoenix Femmes Fatale (Week 6 - Week 14, 2000)
  • 8 - Yuba City Wannabees (Week 5 - Week 12, 1997)
  • 7 - Donegal Doom (Week 2 - Week 8, 1997), Baltimore Buzzsaws (October 31 - December 9, 1999)
  • 6 - Cucamonga Crapshoots (Week 7 through Week 12, 1999)

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Defunct FAUX Franchises

FAUX football currently consists of 14 teams, only one team has less than 6 years experience in the league. In fact, 8 of the present-day owners were charter FAUX members, representing 7 of the league's 12 charter franchises. (Chicago Chick Conspiracy's co-owners took control of their own teams in 1991). Despite the steady participation of the current ownership, FAUX football has seen the rise and fall of several franchises. This honor roll pays tribute to our missing and fallen comrades...

Final Season, 2003

Bedrock Ninerstones
Owner:

Steven "Red" Matteucci

Record:

79 - 87 - 2 (.476)
5 Playoff Appearances (1992, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2003)

Seasons:

1992 - 2003

Notes:

A member of FAUX's prestigious class of 1992, Bedrock entered the FAUX Football League along with the Tasmania Devils and Sioux City Sirens. The Ninerstones went 8-6 in their first season, earning a playoff berth as a wildcard. Since that promising debut, however, the team found the going a bit tougher. After a five year absence from the postseason tournament, the club matched their original 8-6 mark in 1997 and earned their second wildcard berth. In 1999, behind a triumvirate that comprised of QB Peyton Manning, RB Emmitt Smith, and WR Terrell Owens, the 'Stones jumped off to a 9-1 start, finishing 9-5 and capturing their first division title. In 1999, The Ninerstones enjoyed the distinction of being the only team to defeat the eventual champion Petaluma War Pigs, preventing the perennial powerhouse from playing a perfect season. With the drafting of rookie quarterback Peyton Manning in 1998, the Ninerstones had established themselves as an upper tier team, In their last five seasons, with Manning at the helm, the team went 40-30 (.571), which was among the leagues strongest winning percentages for that five-year period. Bedrock set a franchise high mark for wins in 1999 (9-5), and matched that record the following season.The Ninerstones had the distinction of playing in the same city and under the same name for their entire tenure.

Franchise Regular Record
YEARWLTYEARWLTYEARWLTYEARWLT
1992860199368019946801995491
19964911997860199831101999950
2000950200186020026802003770
2004---2005---2006---2007---
TOTAL70822.454

Founded: 1992

Home Field: Slate Industries Park at Candlerock Point

Team Colors: Crimson and Gold

Franchise Name: Bedrock Ninerstones (1992 - 2003)

Winning Percentage: .454 (70 - 82 - 2)

Division Title:

  • 1999 Camp Lejeune Division

Wildcard Playoff Appearances:

  • 1992
  • 1997
  • 2000
  • 2003

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Final Season, 2000

 

Cucamonga Crapshoots


Owner:

Voltron the Magnificent, Intergalactic Emporer
Bernie Oyharcabal, General Manager

Record:

70 - 81 - 1 (.464)
2 Playoff Appearances (1991, 1998)

Seasons:

1990 - 2000

Notes:

An aptly named franchise, the only thing predictable about charter league member Cucamonga was its unpredictability. Reportedly owned by Voltron the Magnificent, Intergalactic Emporer, day-today management of the team was handled everyone's favorite Basque, Bernie Oyharcabal. Oyharcabal's unorthodox draft style became the stuff of FAUX legend, and the Crapshoots fielded some strong clubs, including two playoff teams (1991 and 1998), during their tenure. In both their playoff seasons the franchise began their season with an impressive 5-0 mark. Their best regular season record was posted after the 1998 season, when Cucamonga finished 8-6. Always dangerous, the Crapshoots proved to be "Giant Killer" of sorts, often humbling strong front-runners. Originally named the Arlington Argonauts, Oyharcabal's team compiled an 18-22 (.450) record under that banner. They were renamed the Cucamonga Crapshoots in 1993. The loss of this franchise creates a large void in FAUX Football; Bernie's long and fun-loving participation in FAUX Football is fondly remembered.

Franchise Regular Record
YEARWLTYEARWLTYEARWLTYEARWLT
1990670199176019925901993770
19942111199568019966801997590
1998860199921202000680    
TOTAL70811.464

Founded: 1990

Home Field: High Roller Park

Franchise Names:

  • Arlington Argonauts (1990 - 1992)
  • Cucamonga Crapshoots (1993 - 2001)

Team Winning Percentage: .464 (70 - 81 - 1)

Wildcard Playoff Appearances:

  • 1991
  • 1998

 

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Final Season, 1994

  • San Francisco Exhibitionists
Owner:

John Marty

Record:

5 - 8 - 1 (.393)

Season:

1994

Points:395 points (28.21 pts/game)
Notes:

Finished expansion season with 2-game win streak to earn the franchise fourth place in the Curly division (10th best record overall).

 

Final Season, 1991

  • Honolulu Haoles
Owner:

Bob Merjano

Record:

6 - 7 - 0 (.462)

Season:

1991

Points:408 points (31.38 pts/game)
Notes:

Finished expansion season with 2-game win streak to earn the franchise fourth place in the Curly division (10th best record overall).

 

  • Istanbul Invaders
Owner:

Paul Haettenschwiller

Record:

5 - 8 - 0 (.385)

Season:

1991

Points:355 points (27.31 pts/game)
Notes:

Despite a solid inaugral season, Haettenschwiller left FAUX after one season of play to form his own league (Ultimate Fantasy Football League), using the FAUX system.

 

  • Motor City Combined Express
Owner:

Steve Tocchini

Record:

4 - 9 - 0 (.308)

Season:

1991

Points:244 points (18.77 pts/game)
Notes:

Franchise posted a respectable 4-9-0 record in its expansion season. Though competitive, 244 cumulative points scored was the second lowest one-season point total in FAUX history; in Game 8, became the first FAUX franchise to suffer a shut out (to the Alcatraz Annihilators, 21 - 0).

 

Final Season, 1990

Buffalo Chips

Owner:Glenn Soares
Record:7 - 5 - 1 (.538)
Season:

1990

Points:n/a
Notes:Only defunct franchise to exit league with winning record. Made playoffs as third-seeded team from AIDS Conference. Key to success: 49er-laden team in thick of team's dynasty.

 

Modesto Mutants

Owner:

Tom Perricone

Record:

2 - 11 - 0 (.154)

Season:

1990

Points:n/a
Notes:

Last place finish in Yalta Conference during only season of play cemented by second-lowest season winning percentage (.154) in FAUX history, becoming first franchise to post a meager 2-win season.

 

South Dakota Snatch

Owner:Mark Loughran
Record:5 - 8 - 0 (.385)
Season:

1990

Points:n/a
Notes:

Controversial franchise finished in fifth place in the Yalta Conference, despite solid 5 - 8 debut season. Dropped out of league citing "difference of artistic vision."

 

Yukon Yukes

Owner:Paul Vagadori
Record:3 - 10 - 0 (.231)
Season:

1990

Points:n/a
Notes:

Finished fifth place in AIDS Conference with 3 - 10 record, ahead of only Athens Axes and Modesto Mutants, respectively, in overall league standings.

 

Spin-Off Leagues

A quick nod to a couple of FAUX's known spin-off leagues...

  • FAUX's Pee Wee League (1999) was our answer to NFL Europe...our "developmental" league featuring owners between 8 and 10 years of age. Maybe this was more like our version of the Extreme Football League, as it has gone the same way.
  • Ultimate Fantasy Football League (1992- ) spun off from FAUX in 1992, using the rules created by FAUX as the basis of their own league.
  • Electric Football League (1988- ) founded by the FAUX commish in 1988 as Everex Football League, this was the first league to use a version of the scoring method developed by FAUX's commissioner and founder. The EFL lasted longer than good old Everex...

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